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Tim Allen Eliot Arnold Rene Russo Anna Herk Ben Foster Matt Arnold Jason Lee Puggy Stanley Tucci Arthur Herk Dennis Farina Henry Desalvo Zooey Deschanel Jenny Herk Janeane Garofalo Monica Romero Sofía Vergara Nina Tom Sizemore Snake Johnny Knoxville Eddie Omar Epps Seitz Heavy D Greer Patrick Warburton Walter Kramitz Jack Kehler Leonard DJ Qualls Andrew Michael McShane Bruce Andy Richter Jack/Ralph Pendick Daniel London John Lars Arentz-Hansen Leo Cullen Douglas Captain Justin Hobart Flip Schultz Co-Pilot Jan Vigushin Patrick Mickler Cigar Buddy Gerald Owens Cigar Buddy Mitchell Carrey Cigar Buddy Nathalie Latronico Heather Weintraub Jon Kasdan Jack Pendick Trainee Ian Marioles Editorial Assistant Philip Nolen Deeber David Koepp Annoyed Sports Radio Host (voice) Barry Sonnenfeld Confused Sports Radio Call In (voice) Jay Rasumny Courier #1 Ruben Gomez Courier #2 Antoni Corone William Spaulding Siobhan Fallon Hogan Fly by Air Ticket Agent Kava Stewartson Sour Airport Security Gloria Laino Airport X-Ray Operator Carmen López Airport Stern Security Woman Mark Salem Fly By Air Baggage Handler Renato Campilongo Gang Leader Marc Macaulay Arch Ridley James Martin Kelly Geo Salesman Dave Corey Cellmate Dwight Selma Cipes Retiree #1 Sid Raymond Retiree #2 Jody Wilson Retiree #3 Maurice Alvey Retiree #4 Mia Finnegan Aerobics Announcer (voice) Eric Geller Aerobics Announcer (voice) Paul Barth Airline Pilot Martha Stewart Herself Deborah Smith Ford Bag Lady (uncredited) Ron Madoff Extra