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Leslie Nielsen Ryan Harrison Richard Crenna Fergus Falls Kelly LeBrock Lauren Goodhue Melinda McGraw Cass Lake Aaron Pearl Sean Laughrea Leslie Jones Sergeant Tina Bagley Ben Immanuel Sergeant Orono Sandra Bernhard Doctor Fridley Michael York Hibbing Goodhue Gerard Plunkett Sir Robert McKintyre Duncan Fraser Sergeant McMacDonald John Walsh Self Maury Hannigan Commissioner Hannigan Chick Hearn Basketball Announcer Lamb Chop Self Brian Arnold Dan Clellan the News Reporter Guy Bews Security Guard #1 Mary Black Woman with I.V. Michael S. Bolton T.V. Stage Manager Jacques Bourassa Teenager with Backpack Ken Boyd Usher Alexander Boynton Security Guard #2 Johnathon Bruce Hospital Janitor Rick Burgess Prisoner Charn Gandam Bus Convict Brian Cochrane Cop #1 Arthur Corber Percussionist Ric Cross Ben Hurr Oarsman Cory Dagg Reporter #3 Alex Diakun Roman Rob Daprocida Security Guard #1 Thea Nielsen Disney Party Guest #2 Adrien Dorval Proctor Mark Fox Butcher Mark Francis Abe Lincoln Christopher L. Gibson Paramedic Calvin Guo Japanese Gardener Michelle Hart Reporter #2 Ellie Harvie Ruth the News Anchor Noah Heney Parking Attendant Ingrid Henningsen Party Guest Out of Focus Derek Hurst Patient with Liquid Ears Maura Nielsen Kaplan Party Guest #1 Ellen Kennedy Bow in the Eye Musician P.J. Lespance Yo Yo Double Wallace Lueng Conductor Bev Martin Mary Lincoln Mina E. Mina Arab Diplomat Kanlayaporn Neelaphamorn Party Guest #3 Barbaree Earl Nielsen Fainting Pedestrian Robin Nielsen Party Waiter Jason Payn Wanted Poster Boy Charles Payne Paramedic #1 David Prestley Paramedic Pat Proft Window Technician Marco Roy Paramedic #2 Patty Sachs Waitress At Crash Site Yôko Sakai Reporter #1 Veena Sood Nurse Bill Tarling Bus Convict Ingrid Tesch Reporter #4 Stephen Tibbetts Patient French Tickner Doctor in ICU Ken Vils Detective Van Atter Henry O. Watson Mayor Stopka