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Ian Ziering Fin Shepard Tara Reid April Shepard Cassie Scerbo Nova Clarke Vivica A. Fox Skye Judah Friedlander Bryan Debra Wilson New Bryan Alaska Thunderfuck Morgana Neil deGrasse Tyson Merlin Marina Sirtis Winter Leslie Jordan Benjamin Franklin Darrell Hammond George Washington Ben Stein Alexander Hamilton Roy Taylor Jebediah Clarke Dexter Holland British Captain Kevin ‘Noodles’ Wasserman British First Mate Constantin Viscreanu Paul Revere Dee Snider Sheriff Jonathan Bennett Billy the Kid Chris Owen Thirty-Year-Old Gil James Murray Eastwood Gilbert Gottfried Rand McDonald Tori Spelling Raye Martin Dean McDermott Gilly Shepard Benjy Bronk Connor Beale Christopher Knight Grandpa Clarke Catarina Scerbo Young Nova Bernie Kopell Charter Boat Captain Chuck Hittinger Matt Shepard Ryan Whitney Claudia Shepard Israel Sáez de Miguel Captain Santiago Marcus Choi Palmer Alexandre Ottoni Azzinaro La Toya Jackson Cleopatra James Hong Confucius Eileen Davidson Marie Antoinette Shad Gaspard Muhammad Ali Jayson Paul Joe Lewis Kato Kaelin Viking King Patrick Labyorteaux Caesar Sharon Desiree Joan of Arc Bo Derek May Gary Busey Wilford Wexler Mark McGrath Martin Masiela Lusha Gemini Al Roker Al Roker John Heard George (archive footage) Anthony C. Ferrante Quint Singer Robbie Rist Quint Guitarist Tammy Klein 1950s Dancer Roxanna Bina 1950s Dancer Raine Michaels Girl in Bikini M. Steven Felty Hologram Gil (voice) / D. Brown Andrei Olteanu Frodo Chris Ridenhour Townsperson Thunder Levin Bar Patron Tiberiu Harsan Medieval Gil Brendan Petrizzo Hologram Gil Katarína Paveleková Background Erik Adkins